We're BACK Baby!

SNH Podcast S3 - Episode 1 Transcript

 

 

Melrose: 

This is season three episode one of the SeenAndNotHeard Podcast with Melrose. I am Melrose your host. And, uh, it looks like I have some apologizing to do. I left off on the last episode of this podcast in August, 2019. I shared a light episode where I hung out with one of my webcam model friends and fellow podcasters. And then I went dark. There was five months from the time I stopped recording to when COVID-19 hit the U.S. And a lot happened during that time. My travel schedule became insane. I was in the midst of an entirely different lifestyle than I was used to. And with my new job and new responsibilities, I was still adjusting, not to mention maintaining a second relationship outside my marriage. What I'm saying is that I had a lot going on and I'm human. And I suck. My intention for this podcast was to make sure I didn't fail at it. Even though I personally already feel like I have.

 

Melrose: 

I was lucky enough to meet a beautiful young lady in October, 2019 at the Exotica Convention. And she reminded me that what I have to say to the world matters. Her name is Sasha Rae. She is a fellow webcam model who approached me at the Fancentro booth in New Jersey to say how much she enjoyed my podcast and how disappointed she was on Thursdays when she'd look and see no new episodes had been released. I guess for a while there I really wasn't sure anyone was listening. I know y'all are, I see the numbers and the analytics, but you have to understand that my background and experience is one of webcam and Snapchat, where I get direct feedback from my fans in real time, reinforcing my content, reinforcing my performance. So, this new form of expression is taking place on an unfamiliar landscape to me.

 

Melrose:  

 

So, although I know you're there, I don't see you and I don't hear you as much. So at times it just truly doesn't feel real. The point is, ever since October, when Sasha moved me to literal tears, when she told me how much she enjoyed what I was doing, I've been trying and trying to get this podcast rolling again. I've written countless episodes, which never got published, many of which are no longer relevant, so they never will. But I am here now with this one and I'm not going anywhere.

Melrose: 

So let's get to catching up. I know most of y'all are wondering one specific thing. Am I still dating that girl? Although I really do hope you find me more interesting than my faithful affair outside my marriage. I guess that's as good as any place to start on my first visit to Agada in Colombia, we planned so many beautiful things.

Melrose:  

We rented two Airbnbs in different parts of the country so that we could see more during my first time there. One of those places was a bubble in the middle of the mountains where I got to go glamping. It was equipped with a jacuzzi and endless bottles of wine because we’d become fast friends with John, the office guy. We spent three nights at the bubble. Our nights were spent staying up late, playing UNO in the hot tub. And our days were basically excursions looking for WI-FI so we can post our Snapchat shows. I remember the bubble because it was such a unique experience. It was so beautiful to fall asleep every night under the stars next to her. Just thinking about it, I can still smell chlorine and red wine. It made me smile every time she said bubble in a Colombian accent whenever she tried to explain what glamping was to a local. It actually kind of became this inside joke between us two, where I'd say, babe, say bubble. And she'd say no. And I'd say pleaseee. And she’d say ‘Buuble’, and I’d smother her with kisses. 

Melrose:  

It's kind of funny because when we were together, it's kind of like we were in a bubble in more ways than one. Whenever we were together, we seemed to be the only two people in the room. And I love that about us. The way she looked at me, the way her eyes made me feel seen. And everyone else around us were just supporting actors in our cross continental love story. Our bubble allowed people to look in at us and all of the people who saw us together could see how special what we had was. Our bubble also allowed us to see out from a really safe place, a place where even when we felt judged by other people, we didn't care because we were just so happy to finally be back in each other's arms.

 

Melrose: 

 

Just like bubbles, we were just fucking fun. We spent so much of our trips together laughing from the time Agatha crashed a four Wheeler all the way to the time she nearly drove us off a cliff. Come to think of it, We should probably put her in a bubble because she's a pretty bad driver. Anyway, when we were together, you kind of felt like you were floating as cliche as that sounds, but I loved our bubble. We were untouchable.

Melrose: 

 

The second place we stayed was in Guatape, a beautiful city with the most incredible sunsets. It was in Guatape that we climbed the rock together. This insane rock that stands alone. Amidst these beautiful lakes, surrounded by them and consumed by how blue they are. It's not a blue that I've seen before. It's not a turquoise like you see on islands or a blue that you gaze off at, from the deck of a cruise ship. It's just a different color. It glistens differently.

 

Melrose:  

 

The rock is over 600 feet tall and about 350 steps to the top. I try to describe how breathtaking that view from the top was, but honestly, I'm super out of shape. So I'm not sure if it was the combination of the stunning perspective and the 60 stories high, or the fact that I had to physically climb 60 stories that took my breath away. We went jet skiing there. Agatha had never done it. So we had an impromptu dip and that gorgeous blue water while I showed her how to drive a Sea-Doo. She does a lot better on water than on land, If you believe it. The same feeling of bliss had continued because we were operating on this indescribable plane of existence. Although that trip did come to an end, the bubble didn't. Somehow 2,000 plus miles apart we maintained it. Our bubble became held together by video calls and text messages, as we planned our next adventures. When Agatha came to Chicago, everything was if she'd never been gone. It all fell back into place within seconds when we kissed at O'Hare airport right up until the lady yelled at us to get in the car and move. Agatha met all of my best friends on this trip, and my family who had never seen me with a girl or known me to date girls before, which I'm sure was especially confusing since I had just gotten married only a year ago. But we were in our bubble and I had so much to show her about the place I'd grown up in. 

 

Melrose: 

 

I took her to eat Portillo's hot dogs and to Navy pier, I showed her how to ice skate. Not that she needed any help. We went to the Kris Kringle market at Frosty's Pop-Up Themed Bar. I wanted to make up for every single second that we were apart by taking her on dates every day. And we did it all. Everything from magic shows to virtual reality gaming, even VR didn't seem as real as the bubble we built around us. I can't stress how powerful this was, how unique this was. It was so special, but like with all bubbles, eventually they pop. Almost a year after we began our love story, we decided it was time to end it. February was when I visited Columbia for the second time. And it had already became clear to us that our differences were going to take a lot of work to overcome, which is only multiplied tenfold when you're 2,000 plus miles apart. Agatha and I are still really good friends and we will always hold a special place in each other's hearts.

Melrose:  

 

For those of you who I know are really big fans of ours, and I know there's so many because we are fans of ours. I'm sorry to have to break this news to you. I still have every intention of working with Agatha as long as we're both in a position to do so. Sometimes I do wonder that if in another life and even another universe, things may be happening differently, but since I'm living and podcasting from this one, the show must go on. Amidst ending our relationship, I was going through a lot of personal turmoil. I was personally suffering from some minor health issues, but some of my family members were dealing with very serious ones. And, you know, there was also this global pandemic underway. COVID-19 hadn't phased me so much initially because my entire home life is socially distant considering I literally live in isolation.

 

Melrose:  

 

So at first I was kind of relieved to get back from traveling so I could be home and be present and begin building my house. However, that itself came with complications as well, because all of my personal problems aside climate change is still happening. And it decided to downpour rain in biblical proportions for the first few months of my quarantine. So building my home is moving at a literal snail's pace. Oh. And then there was a tornado that touched down a few miles for me, destroying a lot of property and people's families. Wow. You know, the more that I think about it, we really do have a lot of catching up to do. That's what I get, I guess, teaches me to not stop podcasting for a year at a time. Anyway, this is the long version of an apology in which I try to explain why I've been absent for so long.

 

Melrose: 

 

The short version is, well, shit hit the fan. And I am trying to cope the best ways I know how. It's kind of funny actually, because for the rest of the world, the regular nine to fivers, they went home and isolated themselves with Netflix and Porn. But when you're in porn and you're already working 12 to 16 hour days, well, something just had to give. Unfortunately for me, it was this podcast and my YouTube vlog. I've taken some time to reflect during this quarantine and one of the things I realized is that I have a pattern of giving to everyone else before myself. And I wanna do my jobs well and produce quality work and set the expectations higher, every chance I get. But in giving to so many other roles, I've neglected things like this, things that simply make me happy. There's no money in a small podcast like mine or a YouTube channel, the size that I have, but they made me happy. They gave me a new type of connection with people. And I crave that so badly. So I'm here to let you know that I'm back, I'm refocused and I have an entire year's worth of new stories and experiences to share with you. I just hope you're also willing to listen.

Melrose: 

 

I am Melrose, and this has been season three episode one of the SeenAndNot Podcast. Huge Thank you’s this week to Sasha Rae. I told you in New Jersey that you would never know how much your words meant to me. And I mean that, I think about them often, and you've given a voice to my subconscious when I feel lost or unfulfilled by something. You guide me back to a place where I am reassured that the things I'm creating matter and impact people. And even if it's only the slightest few. I am so grateful to have met you, and to know you, and to now call you my friend. Make sure you follow Sasha Rae on Twitter at XXOSashaRaee. 

 

Melrose:  

 

Want to be an individual sponsor and supporter of the podcast? All you have to do is go to anchor.FM/Melrose and click 'support this podcast’ to donate whatever amount per month to help me fund more episodes like today's.

 

Melrose: 

 

Next week on the SeenAndNotHeard Podcast I sit down with an old, old and very dear friend of mine who is a little bit of a polar opposite of myself. She's involved in a church and she's always been pretty religious. Whereas I have not been, um, for most of my life. She's someone that I've recently hired in a working capacity to work alongside me in my marketing company. And we had the most amazing discussion about the difference between sex work and sex trafficking, where they overlap and where they don't and how we can manage to make sure we're on the right side of history when we're working in this industry. I thought it was really interesting, and I had wished I record the original conversation then, but I'm going to sit down with her now, so we can go over it together.